Being unable to say No, is a huge problem in India. And, elsewhere too đ
Many people are unable to say No due to fear of rejection, wanting to be liked by others, and also as they attach way too much emotional baggage to the word No. I found myself in the same boat right from childhood. This lasted into my teens and in some ways, in a lot of my present.
In my 20s, I battled substance addiction and survived, and the recovery program brought me back to life via a transformational journey that involved having to abandon my old ways of thinking and living. So I started on a path of introspection, observation, therapy and healing. Besides getting out of the addiction, this journey taught me how to live life on lifeâs terms. Eventually, I began working with others. I also met a good number of healers, psychologists, counsellors and therapists â for other reasons. From everything I learned, I devised a program â The Art of Saying No â which literally helps you say No assertively; giving you time for yourself, but using a program of action that involves introspection, facing your inner emotional issues and then learning to be able to say No effectively.
Where the inability begins…
You see, it all starts innocuously in childhood, you crave approval from family and friends, and it soon gets ingrained that in order for people to like you, you will have to do things that may go against your values. And you canât say no. And it becomes a habit. Then, in your teens, since you have an intense desire to fit in, youâre willing to go along with what other people say, even if you donât like it, or if your parents donât like it, or worse, especially if Society frowns upon it. Eventually, you start being taken for granted, and it gets worse and worse.
And by the time you get to the workplace…
Then you start working and think saying no to your boss/customer to work extra hours/do more than was contracted, will get you fired. So you go along resentfully and either bottle up this anger or vent it on an innocent party. Whatâs worse is that you arenât happy.
But how would it be, if only…?
Think of another scene. A scene where you are happy with the work you are doing, because you arenât overworked, and your work speaks for itself, because you are focussed and productive, you feel valued and you know your boss/client wonât fire you. You get home on time after work, and enjoy your relationships with the same satisfaction. Better, right?
I know all this because I am the person in both these scenarios. How did I get from being unhappy, dissatisfied and resentful, to where I am today? I learned to say No, more effectively.
And now I can teach you this art. Find out more, or about the Courses, or even better, contact me!